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CHILDREN
Are you EVER done raising them? I think not. Perfect example . . . I spent this past weekend with my only begotten son, Jason. We had us a large time. Ate out every meal (mom paid). I took him shopping for new clothes (mom paid). I took him for a haircut and bought him 4-more hair cuts (mom paid). Then he asked me if I had $20. What the hell?
posted by
Donna Carter
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11:40 AM
Last updated on
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
MY HAIRCUT
Haircuts have always been traumatic events in my life. This goes back to an early age when my Mom would cut my hair. I have 2 younger sisters. She cut their hair too. She would parade us all out onto the back porch where she would place a towel around our neck - she did this so gingerly - as if the towel was sacred. Then she would retreat into the kitchen for the "wrapping paper" scissors. No such things as hair-cutting scissors. Actually we were grateful she never used the pinking shears. There was no proverbial "bowl" used atop our heads for the haircut - but damned if we didn't look like there was. Our sides would be pretty even because she could always measure by our ears. But them bangs . . . they were always so crooked - we would have preferred the pinking shears on the bangs! Now, I've said all that so say this . . . haircuts have always been traumatic and apparently always will be. I go to a "fru-fru" salon in Nashville to get my hair cut. The guy (at least that's what he "thinks" he is) that cuts my hair has two rules. #1. The client has no say about his/her hair once the salon apron is wrapped around your neck and #2. NEVER cut hair the same way twice. I can live with rule #1 - he's the professional. He should know what would look good on me and how to get there. But rule #2 - Jesus Christ . . . what kind of barber/stylist is this "guy". One time it will be scissored the next time it will be razor cut. This week's haircut was razor cut. My hair looks like the ass-end of a poodle dog. I've washed, dried, styled, cried and it still look like the ass-end of a poodle. Thank the Lord it's only hair and it will grow back. Next time I go, BEFORE he puts the apron on my head, I'm gonna tell him that if I'm gonna look like the ass-end of a dog . . . this time I want to look like a schnauzer.
posted by
Donna Carter
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7:07 AM
Last updated on
Thursday, September 30, 2004
FINALLY FALL
It's the first day of Autumn. Praise be to God. I'm old, fat and menopausal and I have no use for summer. It's hot. It's humid. There's thunderstorms and tornadoes. What good comes from that? Oh sure . . . rain makes the flowers grow. Big whoop. I've got roses in my patio garden and I can't kill the damn things. This spring I had Japanese Beetles eating my rose leaves. The prettiest lacy leaves you've ever seen. Then my Daddy told me I HAD to spray them. So I did. Great. Now they're growing out of control. They're falling over beautiful, full of buds and blooms and the spray and the rain helps and I've got to take care of these things now. And I don't have a green thumb. Actually I have a brown thumb. And no - it's not from keeping it up my ass! I just simply (usually) can't keep anything alive and now I have these killer rose bushes. What to do? Next year the Japanese Beetles can just have them. They'll be telling all their beetle friends "there's a picnic at Carter's . . . y'all come". That's fine. So it's fall and I bought mums for the front porch. Pretty mums - purple and gold. You ain't got to do nothing to mums. Water them occasionally and when winter comes - throw them away. My kinda flowers. Fall brings the pretty foliage in the mountains. I'm looking forward to spending some time in the TN mountains this year. Fall also brings Halloween. I hate Halloween. Big-ass kids coming around getting all your candy. So why do I like fall? 50-degree nights and 70-degree days. ROCK ON!!
posted by
Donna Carter
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8:24 AM
Last updated on
Thursday, September 23, 2004
HURRICANE IVAN
Charley . . . Frances . . . and now . . . Ivan. Three major hurricanes in 4-weeks. Wow!! I really don't know what the folks of Florida have done to piss-off God, but they best be getting somewhere this Sunday morning and asking for some forgiveness. I was in Palm Harbor (Tampa) Florida last week and at that time they were expecting Ivan. In fact, when I left town my hotel was boarded-up. You talk about scary!??! That just ain't right. Especially when you're not used to that. I hated, for the club owners, that the crowds were so light - but I reckon when you're faced with losing your trailer - ain't much very funny. But some folks said "screw Ivan" and "screw the gas lines" - they did come out and a large time was had by all. As we all know now, Ivan didn't strike the Tampa-area, but totally devastated the Gulf Coast of Florida and Alabama. I guess the Tampa-area feels like "better safe than sorry". All that prep and no bad storm. Big adreneline rush and then a let-down (a sigh of relief, but a let-down nonetheless). Reminds me of BOTH my wedding nights!!
posted by
Donna Carter
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10:31 AM
Last updated on
Saturday, September 18, 2004
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